I frequently having problems having conversation with some individuals. Because someone prefer frequent none-value-driven argument, someone prefer complains all the time, someone are neglect diversity of opinions. It’s a frustration! And the expression I put here is negative, which is affect by my bias and emotional feelings.
If I fight back, and use the same techniques to drop my frustration bomb, then the conversation won’t have a happy ending. So, just slow it down a little bit. Deep breath, and let the negative feeling go away.
- If this problem fundamentally touches the core value of your job or life, then you can either give a brief and mild statement but not looking back. Or you can live with the different opinions, and give it an appreciation and it normally end the argument.
- If it hits details, and both of you lost the big picture. Then you should lead the topic back to it’s trunk. Don’t hesitate to pat the peer with white lie, you will find a better resolution after you have agreement on the big decision.
- Tic-tac no more. When someone drops frustration bomb, your anger is not a weapon but a pressure. Deep breath, and forget about the topic but trying to find positive elements of argument peer. Then praises, maybe have a break and take a drink together. Put problem-solving aside, and find some shared value first.
- Avoid trigger chain react actions. Don’t put your other frustrations onto current frustration. You may lost control if pressure overlaps.
- Think about good things, always look at bright side of life. Personally I like to argue by writing things down which avoid gathering heats in verbal argument (stronger voice wins stupidity).
- And maybe writing things down helps too 🙂 That’s what I’m doing.